I Can and Will Do it Myself
Starting off the new year with high hopes of growing a lot more in my faith and just being closer to Christ. As Trevor and I reflected on Thursday evening about the last year and what we would desire for the next year, I felt hopeful and excited. Then reality set in. After stocking food for our church pantry (being on my knees for about 45 minutes), reading lots of books to our kids (while sitting criss cross), and a couple of other events, my knees began to hurt. At first it was annoying, now it is full on hurting. I know it is just life. Things happen, but when it happens to me and I have to rely on others, that is hard for me. I’m not sure why this is. I do not mind at all when others ask me for help, if fact, I like helping them. I hate asking for help. This has been true in my life for almost as long as I can remember. I guess I think maybe I will seem weak or maybe it is just my pride. Anyway, it has been a struggle for me asking Trevor to empty the dishwasher or pick up things for me that I drop. I have even had to ask the kids to help me. Isaiah helped clean up the messy floor after we stuffed our manicotti shells, Ayla helped take the laundry out of the dryer. This may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is huge. I feel bad asking my kids for help (why should I after all I have done and do for them?) but it bugs me. The funny thing is, my family doesn’t mind. Isaiah enjoys helping me, asking me, “What else do you need Mommy?” Ayla isn’t as quick to help but she does it and she has been fervently praying for my knees to get better. Maybe even good for me. Good for me to allow others to help me and “rest” as my knees get better. I am praying that God would enable them to heal quickly, and that I will also learn what I need to in this time.